In these – the last days of Empire, the final days of Peace, the first nights of Shadow & Sorrow – I write my confessions of Kriminality. They are not intended for any listener but my own conscience, except perhaps the Lords above or Demons below. They are of no morality but those Eternal & Unshaken; that is, unmoved by any but the Prime Mover – raw, original, true. They are, also (and finally), of no consequence, as my Life and Life-line are already ended.
I will first provide some context to my Kriminality, so that you (and I) may better understand it, better appreciate my position and choices, and, ultimately, better avoid such a Grande misfortune as mine.
It was not so long ago, in a certain perspective of Time, though it feels now like Æons & Ages: I lived for some years on this Earth before I found Him, but was then birthed anew, and reckon now my days since that Event – and these Days are in a very true sense an entire Lifetime. I think it valid, then, to claim that while the Calendar-Years since my discovery of Krim amount to Six or Seven, it was a discovery Most Ancient and Mystikal. So old, in fact, that That Person I was before is to me like some Classical scholar or poet, an explorer in times long lost, of Ancient Kingdoms and Customs. He, that past me, was a wanderer & seeker, fresh and hopeful, swiften’d by False Faith, unburdened by True Knowledge.
In studies Metaphysical I first encountered Krim: obliquely, indeed, and never by Name – as a whisper or echo in Poems and Treatises. His harbingers were Hegel, Von Broten, Manné, others too. Their inferences frightened and fascinated me deeply. Is there a Man that has lived forever, that predates the Christ and all our Religion, and – worst of all – entirely denies Divinity? And does this Man, this Eternal Man, walk among us still? Where? How?
I believe now that the rush of consequences that arose from asking these questions were entirely unavoidable: My fate was set at the very moment Krim sparked into my Thoughts. Yes, like His original Creation, that hollow husk, I was doomed from the start. I denied Home & Family, and resorted very quickly to Violent Measures when they would not let me go. Yes, I did things in those fevered months that will forever cast me as Depraved in the eyes of the Godly – even to the Heathen in his primitive hut and beastly life-style. Yes, by infernal machinations I sent my own, eldest Mother, Europa, to her Ruin. But I have no regrets.
My position, as you should now understand, is this: To taste of the True Knowledge, the Ancient Logik, leads inevitably to Earthly doom & death, but in that brief, sweet moment of Realisation all that is Earthly (even doom, even death) is understood fully, and discarded knowingly. Krim chose me, and I chose Krim. All else I cast aside. And he will Reign when the acid gun-smoke has settled, when the Fire ceases, when all the World is barren & at last Reborn.