Krim Queries

[…] of Krim there are many queries; selected, described and asked! Some distinct, others counted […] Yet only one could construct the Krim!

Niels Frederique Manné, 1909

Hidden queries of Krim, the Jacobian Matrix and the Krimean Algorithm are searched for by many knowledgeable men. However, a true Krim-query will seldom reveal it self, much less it’s result. There is perhaps truth in Krimean Wittgenstein’s distinction between that which can be said, and that which can only be shown. Moreover, once a result set is found, the details are often challenging or insulting. Society might not accept or even reject it.

Only the wisest and bravest are able and willing to hunt for such crucial material.

Defining a Krim-query? That is a task for the wisest of men, not me. Go away! I must tend to my triple store of almonds.

Jean DeWire, 1917

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Slaying the Nerich Bear

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Targu Mures Coat of Arms

During the harsh centuries ruled by the Nerich clan, many evil men and beasts had employment in the Mures Valley. Some argue that the most brutal of all was the bitter, but ruthless Torben “Bear” Nerich.

Torben, originally from the Principality of Hanover, traveled to Transylvania to harvest Almonds. However, once he arrived he found other tasks; those of violence and hatred.

The bitter bear was beloved only by the whining and very weak willed women of the windy Valley. But he was hated by any with strong will and opinion. United under the banner of Petru Major, the Mures mob slayed the Bear. His head pierced by the sword of a red rebel. The uprising is celebrated to this day…

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The Nerich Bear

Targu Mures Historical Society

The Almond spirit – fresh from the triple store

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The everyday use of Almonds was, and still is, important in Transylvanian society. They are used as an ingredient in many dishes and they are distilled to make delicious liqueurs. One of the most popular is the Almond Spirit, first made by Jacob Becher (brother of the famous Josef Becher).

The correct way to store the Almonds that are to be distilled is in a Triple Store. This gives the liquerist the possibility to determine which Almonds are to be subject to 

There are three stages to the process (known as RDF),  Rafinat, Distilat, Finisat!

Rafinat

The Rafinat requires careful work. First only the best almonds are selected from the triple store. They are meshed and stewed, into a porridge, wonderful of taste; the Rafinat. One must always treat the Rafinat with utmost respect. The temperature and moisture must be exactly right, and the amount of pear concentrate (rieni) must not be too high, nor too low. The Rafinat should rest for 21 days and 21 nights.

Distilat

The distillation process differs little from that of other spirits. The best almond spirit is double or triple distilled. So said Jacob’s brother, Josef.

Finisat

When the distillation process is complete, the finished liquid is set to rest in wooden barrels. But one last task remains; this is called the staging process, in which validation is performed by a professional agent. The Finisat is tested for, for example, impurities or internal inconsistencies. If accepted, the barrels are inserted into another triple store and will wait until they are collected by a thirsty traveler.

Written for TMHS by Vasile Sandor, Alexandru Papiu Ilarian National College

Johann and I

We sailed the seas, Johann and I.
The sails ripped, in the middle of the storm.
The heavens opened, our hopes fell.
No fish, no food, but company.
Johann and I.

Into the the darkness we gazed, Johann and I.
Spoke of drought and the almonds demise.
Spoke in the storm of our future travels.
A bird landed, it was calm.
We saluted death!
Johann and I.

– unknown origin, early 1900s
some scholars indicate Jakko Krimälainen as the original author

Jacob Tepec and the Scapegoats

In the long years of terror in the Mures Valley one man in particular was feared by the humble townsfolk. Peer Nerich was the right hand of the vicious Lord Kyan and he issued fear and horror upon the community. The dread that Peer would expel one from the valley and send one to the town of Scapegoats were massive.

The town of Scapegoats was a prison where people were punished in the most horrid ways. The only food they got were rotten almonds, and the none of the problems they were set to solve had a polynomial solution. The prisoners, called the Scapegoats, did not last long with these beastly circumstances and countless minds were eradicated.

Due to the unjust sufferings of the Scapegoats, Jacop Tepec decided that the data structure he and Igal Galperin worked on should forever be called the Scapegoat Tree.

Ovi Dänânae – Historian – Targu Mures Historical Society

Borisoglebskii – The Dictum Borderlands

The tale of Jurij the Priest begins on the deep pine woods of Siberia. Born to orthodox, educated parents,  well versed in the teachings of Krim, young Jurij had a joyful childhood. Until the age of 11 he had not encountered the apocryphal logic or any problem NP-complete.

In his late teens he met a band of travelers claiming to bear the word of a religious figure by the name of Nerich Matteo. The young mind was stricken with lust for power and glory, tempted by the fragrant almonds brought by the pilgrims. A chasm formed in his mind, driving him ever closer to insanity or eternal sanctuary from the harsh realities of the occult, therein combinatorics practiced by his bloodline.

On his deathbed, Jurij’s eyes lit up, and a wind blew the door of his cottage open. The priest who was at the site to give Jurij his last blessings, yelled out that the spirits of madness had broken free, that Nerich had claimed yet another sacred soul. Indeed, it is said that the ghost of Jurij still haunts  the river of Borisoglebskii, ever trapped in those Dictum Borderlands.

From the annals of the Nikel Institue of Folklore. Translated to English by Ian Whitehouse on behalf of the Targu Mures Historical Society

Gregorius Nerich – Our Fable of Malevolence

There are many tales of Gregorius Nerich. Some true, most false. Rumors say that he had a close friendship with Lucifer and sold his soul to Vladimyr Tepes to gain control of the Mures valley. During his time as almighty ruler his gruesome acts did not contribute to silence those rumors. The people suffered under a inhumane laws, famine and false propositions. I am not proud to call this man a relative, however so distant.

It is said that Gregorius thrived in his almond tree gardens. His favourite activity was to linger in the shadow of an almond tree helping himself to its almonds. In many aspects of his life Gregorius was man most calm and gay. The source of his anger and evil is still unknown, but it is well known that it was real. Many believe that the great famine of 1641 was a result of Gregorius’ great love for almonds, and false propositions and conjectures throughout his reign made the people of the valley frustrated. Deceiving tautologies of Boolean algebra were the cause of despair for many scholars in the valley, and lead to countless suicides of the mind. One would call Gregorius’ acts criminal, yet people did not. It is said that the word “criminal”, or “criminale” in Romanian, had a sweet tune to the Mures townsfolk, and was hence believed to be a word of sanctuary, not evil.

It was not until the eighteen century that the Gregorian spell was abolished from all of Mures. The legend has it that this was the result from a Crimean act, a Transylvanian Circumvolution. The act falsified the beastly Nerich logic and made his electoral running time exponential. However tortoise like, Gregorius did not die and remained an important instance of the Nerich family. As legend goes he swore his return to the Mures valley and eternal anguish upon all those who disobeyed him.

Adrŷan Nerich – Historian –  Targu Mures Historical Society