Category: Nerich Family

Jacobie, Jacobie (The passion of Jacobie I)

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Nerich FamilyLeave a comment
Upon that tree
Upon that tree

Jacobie was a Krímìnale. For this he was punished severely in the great gorge of hollow-horned mammals. From the Neerich-ian clan it was claimed that he had thieved as follows:

  • 10 Cherry Boston Players
  • 3 Hen birds (France)
  • 12-cylinder girls (who danced eight international agreements)
  • 2 friends and Pterici
  • 17 “Please note that the swimming pool” signs
  • 5 de L’mei Čelebić gold medals

Kyan was especially upset about the kidnapping of his most beloved, Pterici (his friends not so much). Kyan spoke in parable:

Before the blood sword legacy of the Sky King,
the courage of the swelling;
sword and Crimeajacobiianians
rushed into the sea
all their sons for Unabashed Pterici.

People now offer the spear to him – Sky King.

Jacobie was nailed to the Scapegoat tree in that grand gorge. His dying words:

Alien flesh-eating goats for youth and children!
Clothing, tyres, waste, there are many other things.

And there was not a man in the valley who understood, but one.

Nerich in struggle with hollow-horned mammal
Nerichian in struggle with hollow-horned mammal

Peer Nerich – A Soul of Eternal Violence

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Nerich Family1 Comment

During the dark years of the Nerich reign, few men were feared more than the vicious Peer “Mountain” Nerich. As the commander of the castle dungeons he became the most experienced and gruesome torturer the Mures Valley has ever seen. As the nephew of Lord Gregorius, he obeyed his uncle and master in every task. He happily did his work with great joy and fantasy. His methods ripped many soul apart, making them scream of agony, suffering in both body and mind.

His methods of torture were many, some aimed at the mind and soul and many at the flesh and gut of his subjects. But at his worst he ripped it all apart, sucking and squeezing  every trace of life out of his victim. The agony of the victims lasted for days, or maybe weeks, before the relief of death. One could tell Peer both true and false, good or evil, but his  work would not stop, and ones body and mind were mistreated until the very end.  The very fear of Peer made the Mures town folk silent and submissive.

The Mures town folk still dread Peer Nerich and his wicked ways, although he is believed dead. But his body was never found after the Krim uprising, and there is whispers that his evil soul still lurk in the darkest forests, waiting for a new opportunity to serve his master and rule the Mures Valley.

It is still said that his blood was not red, but black as the darkest moonless night.

Adrŷan Nerich – Historian –  Targu Mures Historical Society

Jacob Tepec and the Scapegoats

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Crimea Jacobius, Nerich Family, Science of Krim1 Comment

In the long years of terror in the Mures Valley one man in particular was feared by the humble townsfolk. Peer Nerich was the right hand of the vicious Lord Kyan and he issued fear and horror upon the community. The dread that Peer would expel one from the valley and send one to the town of Scapegoats were massive.

The town of Scapegoats was a prison where people were punished in the most horrid ways. The only food they got were rotten almonds, and the none of the problems they were set to solve had a polynomial solution. The prisoners, called the Scapegoats, did not last long with these beastly circumstances and countless minds were eradicated.

Due to the unjust sufferings of the Scapegoats, Jacop Tepec decided that the data structure he and Igal Galperin worked on should forever be called the Scapegoat Tree.

Ovi Dänânae – Historian – Targu Mures Historical Society

Borisoglebskii – The Dictum Borderlands

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Nerich Family1 Comment

The tale of Jurij the Priest begins on the deep pine woods of Siberia. Born to orthodox, educated parents,  well versed in the teachings of Krim, young Jurij had a joyful childhood. Until the age of 11 he had not encountered the apocryphal logic or any problem NP-complete.

In his late teens he met a band of travelers claiming to bear the word of a religious figure by the name of Nerich Matteo. The young mind was stricken with lust for power and glory, tempted by the fragrant almonds brought by the pilgrims. A chasm formed in his mind, driving him ever closer to insanity or eternal sanctuary from the harsh realities of the occult, therein combinatorics practiced by his bloodline.

On his deathbed, Jurij’s eyes lit up, and a wind blew the door of his cottage open. The priest who was at the site to give Jurij his last blessings, yelled out that the spirits of madness had broken free, that Nerich had claimed yet another sacred soul. Indeed, it is said that the ghost of Jurij still haunts  the river of Borisoglebskii, ever trapped in those Dictum Borderlands.

From the annals of the Nikel Institue of Folklore. Translated to English by Ian Whitehouse on behalf of the Targu Mures Historical Society

Gregorius Nerich – Our Fable of Malevolence

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Nerich Family2 Comments

There are many tales of Gregorius Nerich. Some true, most false. Rumors say that he had a close friendship with Lucifer and sold his soul to Vladimyr Tepes to gain control of the Mures valley. During his time as almighty ruler his gruesome acts did not contribute to silence those rumors. The people suffered under a inhumane laws, famine and false propositions. I am not proud to call this man a relative, however so distant.

It is said that Gregorius thrived in his almond tree gardens. His favourite activity was to linger in the shadow of an almond tree helping himself to its almonds. In many aspects of his life Gregorius was man most calm and gay. The source of his anger and evil is still unknown, but it is well known that it was real. Many believe that the great famine of 1641 was a result of Gregorius’ great love for almonds, and false propositions and conjectures throughout his reign made the people of the valley frustrated. Deceiving tautologies of Boolean algebra were the cause of despair for many scholars in the valley, and lead to countless suicides of the mind. One would call Gregorius’ acts criminal, yet people did not. It is said that the word “criminal”, or “criminale” in Romanian, had a sweet tune to the Mures townsfolk, and was hence believed to be a word of sanctuary, not evil.

It was not until the eighteen century that the Gregorian spell was abolished from all of Mures. The legend has it that this was the result from a Crimean act, a Transylvanian Circumvolution. The act falsified the beastly Nerich logic and made his electoral running time exponential. However tortoise like, Gregorius did not die and remained an important instance of the Nerich family. As legend goes he swore his return to the Mures valley and eternal anguish upon all those who disobeyed him.

Adrŷan Nerich – Historian –  Targu Mures Historical Society

The Epoch of Anguish

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Nerich Family, The Granite MatrixLeave a comment

Translated from Krümmel’s “The Granite Matrix”, written some time in the period 1743-1819.

The Epoch of Anguish
Abandon Thine visions of
Calm, green Hills
An Almond doth fall to the ground!

Let go all Illusions, those
Telling of Peace
An Almond now splinters the floor!

Pandemonium Reigns
Dreams are Abdicated
Choose an Almond
Choose thine Demise!

– Ovi Dänânae – Historian – Targu Mures Historical Society

In the Blood of Rumors

On By Targu Mures Historical SocietyIn Nerich Family, The Granite MatrixLeave a comment

Who were they, that in the most dust covered books of the Petru Maior University Library, are spoken of so fearfully? Yankel Krümmel’s magnum opus, “The Granite Matrix” draws parallels between Gregorius Kyan Nerich and Luficer himself, yet Gregorius was but one member of  the Nerich Family. This name remains soaked in the blood of rumors.

1572 is the year, and in the Mures valley there exists a long yearned after, yet fragile sense of peace. How quickly such quiet prosperity can fall to ruin at the hands of a tyrant. Voted harbinger of the Valley in November that year, Gregorius Nerich, under the banner of “To specify the algorithm and responsibilities regarding the authorization and evaluation”, ravaged the countryside with legendary cruelty. Terror reigned for over 200 dark, long years.